Kahlua

[werewolf10]

Basics

Full Name-Kahlua
Preffered Name-Kahlua
Title-Eyric Member
Age-2 months
Gender-Female

Puzzle Pieces

Pack-Eyric
Rank-Pup
Mate-None
Offspring-None

Reflections
Breed-Wolf/Husky
Apperence- Has large ice blue eyes with a gleaming white coat. Her tail is very bushy and her ears are pointy with black tips.
Picture-Optional

Bio
Personality- Only in the world for two months,her life has gone out with a great start. She has no reason to be down at any time,a very happy,cheerful personality that can help to cheer up any wolf that is down.
Traits- Positive-Truthful, lovable, loyal. Negitive- Stubborn, hard-headed
Strengths- Family,friends
Fears- Loosing family, finding out that someone close to her has lied to her, doesn't like her fur getting dirty
History- Her mother,Saba, has died giving birth to Kahlua and her sibilings,Akela and Brit. Alue has been there seraget mother ever since then but Kahlua doesn't know it. Akela,her brother, and herself have a sibiling rivalry going on between them while Brittney stays by Alue.Rayn or Nunivat. Kahlua has a very good temper and doesn;t get into fights unless there for play with Akela. She has followed Alue's scent by what she remmebers and followed it to these lands.

Attachments:

[Credo.degli.Assassini ♫]

Okay, there's a problem here. I can't accept this anyways, but I can tell you that it won't be accepted for a few reasons. Your appearance, and personality is not long enough. As is your history. Your going to have to make them longer.

-Mod,
Burn.

[Peach]

I'm going to be leaving the acceptance of this character up to Bassie or a co-admin, simply because I'm not sure about it.

As Burneh stated, the key elements (appearance, personality, history) are not long enough. You don't really have to add on anymore details, just elaborate on what you've already written. Maybe add some writing techniques, some similes or metaphors? It would give us a taste of what you're capable of.

And speaking of tasting your writing style, you seem to have left out a roleplaying sample. I can't be sure if you have another character though, because I'm very tired and brain-dead. And lazy.

Basically, just go through and check spacing, punctuation and all that business. I'm sure Bassie will get to this eventually.

[xx !kumori]

yes, listen to the mods. This is a very poor bio, im sorry. But you must fix it. The history is very confusing, di this pup and Alue get seprated? If so that is impossible for a pup to survie. All I'm saying is there is not much you can save from this bio...Thank you. ;D